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Lutonian
Asian Moderator
United Kingdom
9503 Posts
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Posted - 30 May 2004 : 12:44:36
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Q. If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle
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Q: Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
A: Because if it walked it would be mugged
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Q: What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
A. A Burglar
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Q: What do you call a Scouser in a tie?
A. The accused
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Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin
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Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut
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Q: What do you say to a scouser in a uniform?
A: Big Mac and fries please
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Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night ?
A: What you looking at?
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Q: What do you call a scouser in a White Shellsuit
A: The Bride
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On the subject of Scousers.........
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job". The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided. Because of the long hours of this job meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is 200,000 a year". The scouser said "You're bullsh*tting me!"
The man behind the counter said "Well you f***** started it.
(slightly out of date now...)
Gerard Houllier Liverpool manager sends scouts out round the World looking for a new striker to replace Emile Heskey and hopefully win Liverpool the title. One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So Gerard flies to Iraq to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Everton with only 20 minutes left. Houllier gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on and he takes off Emile Heskey.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me". "Great," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your
father got shot in the street, your sister and I were beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, all while you were having a great time". The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry". "Sorry!" says his Mum, "It's your bloody fault that we moved to Liverpool in the first place.
The Tarmac Terrorist |
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admin
Forum Admin
United Kingdom
3867 Posts
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Posted - 30 May 2004 : 15:36:24
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hehehe, i like i like!
"98% of the time i'm right, why worry about the other 3%?"
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Fabia
Super Duper Asian
United Kingdom
7238 Posts
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Posted - 30 May 2004 : 21:02:43
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yeh its all gd
"He who kneels before Almighty Allah swt; can stand before anyone!"
"O Allah, let our last days be the best days of our life and our last deeds be the best deeds, and let the best day be the day we meet You."
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monty
Teen Asian
United Kingdom
704 Posts
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Posted - 31 May 2004 : 01:11:13
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| oh yes !!! |
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sweet_as_suga
Super Duper Asian
United Kingdom
7461 Posts
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Posted - 31 May 2004 : 16:37:52
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lolzzz
.•:*¨`*:•.mi§§iÑ ù I§ Likè BrèâthiÑ- I jù§t çâÑ't §tôp.•:*´¨*:•. |
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Lil_Miss_Flirt
Teen Asian
846 Posts
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Posted - 01 Jun 2004 : 17:48:59
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HEY HEY HEY WHATS GOIN ON????????
IM A SCOUSER!
BACK OFF! |
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Lutonian
Asian Moderator
United Kingdom
9503 Posts
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Posted - 01 Jun 2004 : 18:05:26
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no offence intended
just dont steal my wheels in retaliation! lol..
The Tarmac Terrorist |
Edited by - Lutonian on 01 Jun 2004 18:06:09
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fawaz
Super Duper Asian
United Kingdom
2966 Posts
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Posted - 01 Jun 2004 : 18:14:20
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lolzZ
wag1 ppl! |
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Lil_Miss_Flirt
Teen Asian
846 Posts
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Posted - 02 Jun 2004 : 15:30:44
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Hey i suggest u go and have a look at ur car!
Still in one piece??? |
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rudegyal
Asian Moderator
United Kingdom
1602 Posts
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Posted - 02 Jun 2004 : 15:59:59
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ey lutonian! cum 'ed...me half a scouser n all now living there n all..u shud watch it or ther'll b a lorra truble ahed orritte? never mind the bizziess...ill get sum ov me lads ere meself! u herd?!!
muahhahahahaha...
'if you love something, set it free..if it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it!' |
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Lutonian
Asian Moderator
United Kingdom
9503 Posts
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Posted - 02 Jun 2004 : 16:40:29
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lol! yeh i 'herd' ya!
its good thing liverpool is in a different country!
The Tarmac Terrorist |
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Fabia
Super Duper Asian
United Kingdom
7238 Posts
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Posted - 02 Jun 2004 : 17:18:13
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oooooooooo scrap scrap
nah just jokin, you know its all gd x
"He who kneels before Almighty Allah swt; can stand before anyone!"
"O Allah, let our last days be the best days of our life and our last deeds be the best deeds, and let the best day be the day we meet You."
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mokbol
Junior Asian
United Kingdom
177 Posts
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Posted - 03 Jun 2004 : 20:22:27
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lol
"zindagee ek safar suhana, yeh ha kal ke hoga yeh kisni jana" |
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