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 is love important in marriage?

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aisha hussain Posted - 23 Jan 2004 : 23:18:55
do you fink love is important in a marriage or do u just go for people who care for you??????

aisha hussain
30   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
ALISHA_NIQ Posted - 06 May 2004 : 09:10:34
in arranged marriages, ppl don't marry for love. Love inshallah develops

"Live and Let Live....As LIfe is to Short...Never forget your roots"
maxi Posted - 06 May 2004 : 05:57:47
What is the feeling when u care for's Luv.. There is love between Husband and wife, mother and her childrens, sister and brothers... in Marriage obviously why did u marry if u dont luv each other...

ô - I w⧠bôrÑëd IÑÑôçèÑt, EdùçâtiôÑ ruined mè - ô
miss_foxy Posted - 03 May 2004 : 18:43:18
very true, respect is necessary in marriage.

im foxy, fun and FINE!!!
Openminded_gal Posted - 30 Apr 2004 : 23:04:34
I think alongside love respect is very inmportant in a relationship.

So many guys are eligiable for dating but not many who reach the standard for the
lifetime committment of marriage.

If I don’t speak my mind, how you going to know what I think?


Lutonian Posted - 29 Apr 2004 : 11:46:12
yep i do

When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
ALISHA_NIQ Posted - 29 Apr 2004 : 09:34:36
i fancy a samosa

"Live and Let Live....As LIfe is to Short...Never forget your roots"
samosa Posted - 16 Apr 2004 : 01:17:04
does any1 know how to make a vegetable samosa?
ALISHA_NIQ Posted - 15 Apr 2004 : 12:19:40

A relationship is about give and take and thats what you always need to remember. Love comes with time and patience (then again 4 years is a long time). What i would do is sit down and have a heart to heart with my hubby. Explain to him how I am feeling, for all you know he may be feeling the same. You may come to a mutual agreement that this relationship is pass its sell by date. Then again maybe its not. Why not try going out to somewhere like RELATE, i know its a bit of a taboo in our culture but it might help.

I know its a lot about honour. but this is your life and your husbands and its your right to make the right decision. Forget the other man for the time being, just focus on your own current marriage. Maybe even write a list of what you like and what you dislike in the relationship.

Love is important in a relationship as is trust, honesty and commitment. Good Luck Sister
xxx_metz_xxx Posted - 06 Apr 2004 : 22:53:07
hellll wid twice as nice on tht 1!!!!! wats the point of bein married 2 sum1 if u dont luv them? if u dont luv sum1 who can u spend the rest of ur life with them?

¤·.¸.·°Lil Miss Giggles°·.¸.·¤

People call me M-E-T-Z
TwiceAsNice Posted - 06 Apr 2004 : 21:34:39
"is love important in marriage?"

yeah of course
sarah Posted - 06 Apr 2004 : 19:54:22
i think love is important if u dont love de person why r u wid dat person???
ders no point in wasting ur life!!
wat was de point in gettin married?
BengaLTiger Posted - 06 Apr 2004 : 01:02:57
Aisha, if she pampers me. Feeds me. Irons and takes care of the washing. Then maybe i might plant a little love seed for her, and water it everytime she makes me happy.

//////////////// [BengalTiger ] ////////////////
Shah Sahab Posted - 05 Apr 2004 : 18:50:15
hi aisha i think love is most important part of life and in married life love is most important if love is there life is full happily in my opionion love is most important
london-finest Posted - 30 Mar 2004 : 00:31:58
in rely to admins question rani already answered that dats sort of what i wanted to say
london-finest Posted - 30 Mar 2004 : 00:27:07
well aisha i read some of the other replies to your problems but in a marrige u dnt just have love u need to care for each other give them moral support and u need to contemplate on why u do no love ur houseband when he understands u and lets u do what ever yu want and why and why u fallen for another guy rather then ur houseband
hope it helps
Honey Posted - 22 Mar 2004 : 12:21:09
I think for someone to question if love is important is ignorant or silly. Love is always important in all you do and i agree with Sky and Momo it is easy to get mixed into thinking that you are in love with somewhen when that may not be the case. All the same, it is the feeling of being in love most people enjoy and in a marriage there is a unification both legally and emotionally and if you ifnore ur emotions then you will be sad and lonely and not only that you will neglect and fail to see that love is in all you do....

Honey Loves life
MoMo Posted - 20 Mar 2004 : 19:47:30
Hey Aisha
In marriage der's 2 types of love...da love dat happens from da start n feels so raw n lyk it neva guna ova da years it fades n fades til u cnt evn memba wat it feels may start off strong bt shea's ryt itz jst infatuation....

Den der's da uda type of love....where it grows bit by bit day by first it myt not feel lyk over da years it grows so mch n u get so used 2 da person u married 2 tht u cant imagine ur lyf widout dem..lyk all ur dreams n hopes involve dat person n ur world includes dat person....das wat true love is..n das wat usually happens in successful arranged marriages(das wat ma parents went thru). U myt not fink u love ur husband. Bt ask urself dyu imagine ur lyf widout him?

i hope u find a good solution. GOOD LUKXXXX
Shea Posted - 19 Mar 2004 : 22:28:33
yeah thats true

I'm in love with you (so in love)
I'm in love with you (I'm so in love)
I'm in love with you... with you
SKY Posted - 19 Mar 2004 : 22:12:48
yeah, i know what im talking about, i just dont care enough to be serious about it in a forum.

Shea Posted - 19 Mar 2004 : 16:39:20
Love is quite essential to a happy marriage, as my friend sky pointed out. But can you really have a SUCCESFUL marraige without love? Maybe. The rare cases of that would be when Anna Nicole Smith married that rich OLD man and only after a few months, he died and she got all his estates. The marriage was a sham, but she ended up being very very succesful.

I'm in love with you (so in love)
I'm in love with you (I'm so in love)
I'm in love with you... with you
SKY Posted - 19 Mar 2004 : 16:34:49
In rare cases, a couple might marry to merge estates or company holdings, or for other cases of financial security. Love doesn't necessarily have to be part of this.

Love however, is a necessary part of a happy marriage. Unless of course your're blackmailed into it, and fearing getting splashed in the face with acid, you have to live a lie, pretending to be happy.

SKY Posted - 19 Mar 2004 : 16:31:46
Peter: Wanna race? On your mark, get set, go! First one to the marker where that Pakistani girl fell through the ice after coming to the States to get treatment for her severely burned face which she got when the man she refused to marry dumped sulfuric acid on her wins. I win. Yes! Yes! In your face! In your face!

And I thought this only happens in the movies....

Anyone know where this is from tho? =)

Shea Posted - 19 Mar 2004 : 16:21:09
What the hell kind of question is this???

Love is the basis of marriage, unless you are blackmailed into it... but yeah, Love is the key element in relationship, marriages, child bearing, and a lot of things, but certainly in marriage. The reason most people fall in and out of love is because they dont feel love, but infatuation. Once you are in love, you dont fall out of it, it stays there forever.

And the embers never change, in my city by the lake...
The Legend Posted - 18 Mar 2004 : 13:39:46
Hi aisha,

you ask whether love is important, i think it is. If it wasnt you wouldnt be having doubts about being with your husband.

It sounds like at the moment you dont love your husband. but dont force yourself to love him. Maybe you two just need to find something in common about yourselfs that takes time, and arguments always happen in relationships- they make you stronger. Maybe you two are not ment to be together. What ever happens- always remember Allah does what is best.

what honey said is true, and i know it works. the more you talk to someone, the less secrets you hide the better your relationship is.

One last thing I want to say, you wanted a dua to make you love your husband, well thats wrong- dont do that, instead there is a namaz that you can read and at then end in the dua you ask god your question, ie should i buy a ferrari or not (only kidding), something like should you leave my husband etc. When you sleep, in your dreams god will give you guidance.

well i hope ive helped you a bit, and no im not from burton, im from BIRMINGHAM


Honey Posted - 17 Mar 2004 : 16:49:49

Love in anything is important because it evokes compassion and emotion which all humans need. I do not think that it is fair or right to stay with a person because you either fear being alone and secondly because you think that no other man will treat you right. There is whole world out there full of people so it would be ignorant for you to think that no other man will treat you right.

The best thing for any relationship is time and space-divorce is not the whole answer but it is best to try other things first before getting to divorce. For starters, talking and being honest, if you do not love your husband you gotta ask why you don't, and if you are newly wed and its arranged have u given it enough time to develop. Love isnt like a film it takes time for the mind to trust someone but it takes less time for you heart too. Secondly you could seek councilling, help and even mediation, if your husband wants you he will do all to keep u. If you have children, then it is best to try and ressolve issues amicably rather then living a lie.

the worse thing a person can do is make someone else beleived they are being loved when thats not the case. Honesty is something you need and perhaps this rough patch will bring you closer....a risk but everything is a risk.

admin Posted - 16 Mar 2004 : 11:37:53
i dont think a marriage will last without love and if it does it will be a painful one.
Rani Posted - 13 Mar 2004 : 23:16:46
Originally posted by admin

nah u make sense rani ji, can u care for someone and not love them and vice versa?

ok to care for some one u have to love that person. if u do not love a person how can u not care thats one thing i dont understand. theres different types of love isnt there?
admin Posted - 10 Mar 2004 : 12:03:19
Thanks for your contribution Kashif! Much appreciated!
kash_ahm Posted - 10 Mar 2004 : 11:32:43
Salaam to all,

Personnally I dont know why divorse is even mentioned. It is the most hated of all that is allowed by Allah and so that shouldnt be promoted. Especially where aisha is asking for help in sorting out her life.

Well of course I aint gonna prescribe any magic solutions, that is impossible since none of us can know everything in your head and I dont think even you will know the exact reason for the lack of "spark".

My own opinion is that love will always develop between two people that share a life together. If you and your husband dont have things to do or friends to meet then you wont have a life together.

This new guy, well lets face it seeing him isnt helping so cut him out. Hard to say when I havent even met anyone or know anyone...but on the face of want your marriage to work but seeing this other guy (even as a friend) that is difficult so cut him out.

I hope I dont offend anyone, just a few thoughts.

admin Posted - 02 Feb 2004 : 22:36:36
u sure raz? u talking from experience?! - Asian Forum © Asian Forum
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