| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| mokbol |
Posted - 09 Jun 2004 : 20:14:20
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!
"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a b****** in the family than a lawyer."
>
>
A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
>
>"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
>
>Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of s***?
A: The bucket.
>
>Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
>
>Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
>
>
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
>
>Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
>
>: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
>
>Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said, "Are you crazy? You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied."I only have to outrun you."
>
A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road.
The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.
The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
"Arenít you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.
"Sure, after the police leave," replied the attorney.
>Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub it.
A genie pops out. He says 'I will grant you each one wish, but there's a catch. Whatever you wish for, a lawyer will get 2 times more than that.'
The first guy says 'I want a million dollars.' The genie says 'Are you sure?' He says yes. *poof* The guy has one million dollars, and a lawyer gets two million.
The second guy says 'I want a new car.' The genie says 'A lawyer is getting two new cars then.' The guy says, 'oh well. I want my car.' *poof* He has a new porche.
The third guy says 'I want to be beaten half to death.
>
>
A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence. They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follows: "Let the thief go first, and the executioner follow."
>
"zindagee ek safar suhana, yeh ha kal ke hoga yeh kisni jana"
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| 13 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| mokbol |
Posted - 15 Jun 2004 : 20:25:06
Hey guys nothing personal, its all in the name of a laff.
Remember all professions are important, we are cogs in a wheel!!!
"zindagee ek safar suhana, yeh ha kal ke hoga yeh kisni jana"
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| jemsbhai |
Posted - 11 Jun 2004 : 18:17:32
we do.
but here the prosecution lawyers are like wolves, nay like sharks and woe to he who would cross their path!!
quote:
Originally posted by Lil_Miss_Flirt
obviously u dnt have prosecution lawyers in USA.......makes sense now
p.s i aint havin ago at one1.....just an ickle healthy rant (SOOOOO glad its Friday!)
Maybe life is just a dream
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| fawaz |
Posted - 11 Jun 2004 : 18:05:30
phew........i can take off my halo den.......lol
wag1 ppl!
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| Lil_Miss_Flirt |
Posted - 11 Jun 2004 : 18:00:14
obviously u dnt have prosecution lawyers in USA.......makes sense now
p.s i aint havin ago at one1.....just an ickle healthy rant (SOOOOO glad its Friday!)
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| jemsbhai |
Posted - 11 Jun 2004 : 17:57:51
hey i wasnt laughing at those abovementioned things. since when did lawyers start to do those stuff?
Maybe life is just a dream
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| Lil_Miss_Flirt |
Posted - 11 Jun 2004 : 17:50:57
hahahahaha...........
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| fawaz |
Posted - 11 Jun 2004 : 17:46:31
oye ppl, dnt laff at ne1z profession........itz rude, sum ppl take it seriously.........i aint part of dis lil missy btw
wag1 ppl!
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| Lil_Miss_Flirt |
Posted - 11 Jun 2004 : 17:44:36
U can laff all u want at my proffession. Obviously fighting for planning permission 4 a mosque is funny!
The blessed Prophet (SAW) said "the one who builds a Mosque for Allah's pleasure alone, Allah builds a house for him in paradise"
Obviously putting away rapist, murders, nonces, wife beaters is SOOOOO humourous i 4got 2 laff!
What happened 2 the other thread on lawyers joke?
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| jemsbhai |
Posted - 11 Jun 2004 : 16:51:35
and shes back ... dont u love it when ppl laugh at ur profession flirty??
Maybe life is just a dream
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| Lil_Miss_Flirt |
Posted - 11 Jun 2004 : 16:13:10
Wow! 2 threads on lawyers jokes.........aww bless!
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| jemsbhai |
Posted - 09 Jun 2004 : 23:14:49
gone to pray like she said ..
@ jemsbhai: lets keep the crookedness down for now, orrite?
Maybe life is just a dream
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| Lutonian |
Posted - 09 Jun 2004 : 23:12:07
very true!
where is miss flirt?
The Tarmac Terrorist
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| jemsbhai |
Posted - 09 Jun 2004 : 20:53:03
hear hear ... where is Naz ...
Maybe life is just a dream
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